2007-05-30

At Secret Festival #1 (2007-05-27)

For reasons I can't discuss, the Secret Festival started me thinking about emotional immaturity and maturity. Signs that suggest emotional immaturity to me include lack of empathy, managing moods with substances, refusing to talk about feelings, and tolerating any behavior in others.

In contrast, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People quotes Hrand Saxenian's definition of emotional maturity: "the ability to express one's own feelings and convictions balanced with consideration for the thoughts and feelings of others." In 7 Habits this balance between courage and consideration is necessary for Habit 4: Think Win/Win. This habit helps move people from independence to interdependence. This is part of Stephen R. Covey's broader maturity continuum (not merely emotional maturity), from dependence to independence to interdependence.

In How to Be An Adult, David Richo writes, "Adults learn that separateness is not an abandonment but simply a human condition, the only condition from which a healthy relationship can grow. With boundaries come interdependence rather than dependency." In films and in life, I see the value of these definitions of emotional and personal maturity.

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