Watching El Laberinto del Fauno/Pan's Labyrinth (2007-01-20)

An old friend says he doesn't read fantasy because he read The Lord of the Rings and few--if any--authors match J.R.R. Tolkien's ability. While I'm not as exclusive in my reading of fantasy or other speculative fiction, reading the Inklings has led me to expect of fairy tales the feel of something real. Glimpsing and overhearing the wider world beyond the story are part of that feel.

Roger Ebert calls El Laberinto del Fauno "a fairy tale for grown-ups." Despite the young girl as a protagonist, the tale is definitely for grown-ups: the movie is gory. However, the fairy tale elements go no further than the story, and the realistic elements (1944 Spain) contain implausible evil. (Here's a minor spoiler: one character suffers puncture wounds to the back, chest, and face; drinks an overdose of a sleeping drug; and then chases and catches another character.) The evil was intentionally unpleasant, but a good tale would make the movie enjoyable. While I wanted to enjoy the fantasy, the fairy tale wasn't sufficiently coherent to make a movie I enjoyed.

Reading Garden State soundtrack (2007-01-19)

Today the Music from the Motion Picture Garden State that I ordered arrived in my PO Box. I'm disappointed to see that most of the songs have chords more complicated than the starter guitar chords I'm learning (A, D, E, F, G, Am, Dm, Em, Fm, G7, A7, D7, E7, C, and C7). This quarter I again signed up for the "Beginning Guitar For Adults" group lesson taught by Jack Dowdell from Half Note Studio at UW Experimental College. It appears I need a lot of practice if I want to play songs from Garden State.

At least now I have the correct lyrics to "Fair" by Remy Zero, even if I don't understand them. I still like the sound of the song.

Hey, are you lonely? Summer gone so slowly.
We've found the ground, and that damage is done.
It's cold as you fade into the sun.
Where'd you go? To me.

But you're alive. Well, it's only fallen frames, they told me.
You stand out so loud, and so what if it is?
It's cold as you face into the wind.
And where'd it go? Tonight the sun shall see its light.

So what if you catch me? Where would we land?
In somebody's life for taking his hands.
Sing to me hope as she's thrown on the stand.
All of our work is rated again. Where to go?

And you were somehow the rain this thing could allow.
I've tried, but it's all wrong. You're so strong,
and as life and work, the choice took far too long.
Where'd it go? Tonight the sun shall see its light.

So what if you catch me? Where would we land?
In somebody's life for taking his hands.
Sing to me hope as she's thrown on the stand.
All of our work is rated again.

And I was sure you'd follow through.
My world was turned so blue. (My world was turned so thin.)
When you'd hide, your songs would die, so I'd hide yours with mine.
All my words were bound to fail. Well, I know you won't fail.
See, I can tell.

Reading the curious incident of the dog in the night-time (2007-01-14)

"'...[Y]our father is really pacient [sic] but I'm not, I get cross, even though I don't mean to.'" --Mark Haddon, the curious incident of the dog in the night-time

None of the traits I've observed in people I know are anywhere near as upsetting as the behavior of Christopher Boone, the narrator of the curious incident of the dog in the night-time. An old letter from his mother describes this:

And Mr. Land was realy [sic] nice about it but there were boxes and bits of broken bowl on the floor and everyone was staring and I saw that you had wet yourself and I was so cross and I wanted to take you out of the shop but you wouldn't let me touch you and you just lay on the floor and screamed and banged your hands and feet on the floor and the maniger [sic] came and asked what the problem was and I was at the end of my tether and I had to pay for two broken mixers and we just had to wait until you stoped [sic] screaming.

The adults in Christopher's life act and react differently to his behavior. His mother was much less patient than his father, but his father later ends up apologizing and making amends. His mentor is the most admirable, explaining to Christopher the unwritten rules of social behavior--the "hidden curriculum"--in precise literal terms:

Siobhan understands. When she tells me not to do something she tells me exactly what it is that I am not allowed to do. And I like this.

Criticism of the book suggests that the narration is too self-aware for even a high-functioning autistic at Christopher's age. So the traits I've observed in people I know are much less upsetting than the symptoms of various disorders.

In fact--in years as an engineer, graduate student, or software developer--I've explained to significant others that I don't want them to take offense when I am in hack mode, a state of hyperfocus likened to ADHD characteristics. So I understand different ways of thinking that lead to social differences.

Nevertheless I got cross with former subconsultants and friends. I expected empathy, explanation of feelings, repairing of feelings, social time, mature social relating--expectations that may worsen social anxiety. I don't like my reaction; I'd rather have the patience of Siobhan.

Rereading / (2007-01-07/11)

"There is no great genius without some touch of madness. "--Seneca, Moral Essays. On Tranquility of the Mind, 17, 10
"'Without effective therapy, widely available and used, we wouldn't be able to support the dataflow economy we have today.'"--Greg Bear, / (Slant)

Several science fiction authors explore the relationship between sanity and society. In Xenocide and Children of the Mind, Orson Scott Card imagines a society which regards obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) as possession by the gods. In A Deepness in the Sky, Vernor Vinge imagines a far-future society which uses hyperfocus--which my society regards as a symptom of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or autism--for enslavement. In /, Greg Bear imagines a near-future society which stresses its best and brightest into unhappiness--until technological therapy restores them. / adds Tourette syndrome alongside OCD and ADHD to the list of disorders with subplots in science fiction.

I read again my autographed copy of / in Seattle. In this city my programming work and play, in business and hobby projects, have brought me into contact with "neurodiversity." In former subconsultants and friends I have observed these traits: preoccupation with a single subject, repetitive rituals, idiosyncratic speech, inability to express empathy, impaired ability to perceive nonverbal cues, perfectionism, perfect alignment of objects, echolalia, self-injury, social avoidance, fidgeting, poor impulse control, unusual reluctance to take risks, sexual preference uncertainty, substance habits, and a subvocalization behavior I don't know how to classify. One could regard these traits as symptoms of Aspberger syndrome, OCD, high-functioning autism, Tourette syndrome, borderline personality disorder, social anxiety, avoidant personality disorder, ADHD, or a comorbid combination of these.

One could also regard these traits as personality weaknesses associated with expert knowledge, technical thought, humor, helpfulness, attention to detail, organization, problem-solving, cognitive motor control, artistic temperament, or shyness. Hacker culture certainly has some skepticism about Aspberger syndrome and ADHD:

After all, people in authority will always be inconvenienced by schoolchildren or workers or citizens who are prickly, intelligent individualists — thus, any social system that depends on authority relationships will tend to helpfully ostracize and therapize and drug such ‘abnormal’ people until they are properly docile and stupid and ‘well-socialized’.

Whether disorder or personality, I am intrigued by the range of experience, and curious about the requirements of excellence.

Working on D800 in Seattle (2006-12-28/2007-01-11)

Jim waved his hands and said, "Chicken, chicken, chicken," the previous time my laptop refused to turn on. I assume this was because he lacked a dead chicken. Afterward, when he replaced the battery, the laptop turned on. This time (I bring all my hardware problems to Jim) even removing and replacing the battery failed.

I removed the hard drive, shipped the D820 to Dell for repair, and went back to using a D800. The D820 hard drive contains the photographs that I would use to bring this blog up to our 2006-12-04 return flight from Paris to Seattle, instead of leaving the travel diary at Château d'Amboise. I'm disappointed: my Europe blogs posts were my most complete travel diary to date, tripling the 9 handwritten entries in my 1996 European travel diary. I want to finish the trip diary in photos, once the D820 returns and I have easy access to the nearly 2100 photographs Ryan and I took.

In the last half of our Europe trip I traveled and developed software. Now that we've delivered the 0.2 (alpha) version of the user interface, I want to begin blogging books and--when the D820 returns--finish the travel diary.

Listening to Minor Majority (2006-10-18)

Readers of this blog may know my love of the Garden State soundtrack, especially Iron & Wine, and my desire to play folk rock guitar music like Norwegian band Kings of Convenience. Knowing this it would be no surprise that when I heard Norwegian band Minor Majority's "Wish You'd Hold That Smile" on Reasons to Hang Around I was immediately interested. I walked from the back of my morning workplace to have a conversation in rudimentary French. "Did the Internet disconnect? What do you want?" they asked me. "I want that music," I replied.

Hey, I wish you’d hold that smile
Help, if only for a while
I need to know about all the things you did and didn’t do
And just how hard you tried

At Château d'Amboise (2006-10-23)

Our last stop of the day, before riding the TGV back to Paris, was Château d'Amboise. The Flickr photostream contains a photograph of the castle itself.

At Le Close Lucé (2006-10-23)

Le Close Lucé, a Leonardo da Vinci museum (and his onetime house), was inspiring because of the models of Leonardo da Vinci ideas and inventions. I was impressed that, as Wikipedia says, "He conceived of ideas vastly ahead of his own time, notably conceptually inventing the helicopter, a tank, the use of concentrated solar power, the calculator, a rudimentary theory of plate tectonics, the double hull, and many others. Relatively few of his designs were constructed or were feasible during his lifetime; modern scientific approaches to metallurgy and engineering were only in their infancy during the Renaissance."

At Château de Chenonceau (2006-10-23)

After lunch in Tours, the tour group expanded and we rode to Château de Chenonceau.

At Château de Villandry (2006-10-23)

Our second stop was the gardens and castle of Villandry.